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lyrics

driving past the foreclosed farms,
she grips the wheel so tightly
“why’d you go name something
you can’t worry on?”
So, I worried about
every single thing I’d see
somehow I knew they’d like it
if I gave them one.

If you care for everything,
your losses add up quickly
Most days I just step outside
and pick something to grieve.

I know, I know, I know,
my stomach’s still in shambles
asphalt in my throat, that bitter road I couldn’t swallow
had I just been different
I could’ve been your difference
lucky kids like me, we’re god damn useless

that story’s finally realized,
I failed you I suppose
I was stiff as old spirits and I
watched your cassettes corrode
that static image blurs,
I drink it in when things get worse
and I make up my own pictures of
some summer where my shit’s together

and there’s the room where I love you,
you’re safe inside, lavender’s blue.
I’m the gallant blanket of sunrise,
I’m not afraid to lose.
so I wait at your porch steps,
and I sink in the pavement,
and it remains my secret
Love, my love could never save you.

so what now? What is enough?
was it all cupboard love?
I’m greeting street posts “IF FOUND, PLEASE CALL”s
with a strangely guilty conscious
I’m sorry for this
I’m sorry for this
and then I’ll go to work
‘cause I know nothing hurts
no, nothing hurts

it’s fine.
it’s fine.
I know my role right.
be kind.
be fine.
I’ve known the whole time.

credits

from Good Names for Strays, released November 17, 2023

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Sugardeer Cleveland, Ohio

bitter somethings

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